Peter and the Mystery of the Perfect Notebook
A peek inside my stupid A.D.H.D. neurotic brain
Okay, so I’ve been enrolled into grad school for a couple of weeks now. I sent my official transcripts over. I still have to send my vaccination stuff — yes I am vaccinated for anything I should be vaccinated for.
And so should you!
So everything is set, the only thing I need to do is enjoy my summer, enroll into class, and hopefully not screw this whole thing up.
Nope.
I am obsessed with finding and using the perfect everything for this next great venture. Because I convinced myself if I get the perfect everything, it’s going to go great… unlike the last time when I first started college.
To be fair though, I’m not with the world’s most toxic girlfriend anymore. So that’s going to help a lot. But, I’m still literally obsessed with starting this off as perfectly as possible.
This is how crazy it is, last week. I woke up, had coffee, talked to my therapist about the imposter syndrome I’m feeling about getting into grad school. Then I went to the LES, shoved my way through an army of tourists (the fuckin’ animals), and then spent $150 on the perfect pen.
Yeah, I’m not kidding. Here it is:
It’s a Kaweco SUPRA Fountain Pen. It writes like butter. More than butter, it’s like a lightsaber for words. It’s also made out of solid brass. If I whip it at someone’s head it’s going to hurt.
It’s not why I bought it, but it’s a nice feature.
Now, something that not a lot of people know is that I prefer to do my writing analog. I like using fountain pens on pads, I like typewriters for first drafts. I am one of those writers that does have strong opinions on which notebook is the best.
It’s the Leuchtturm1917, preferably B5 size with a dotted layout — and any other opinion is wrong.
Now, if you made it here you’re probably asking “If you know what the perfect notebook is, what’s the mystery?”
Well, grad school changes my needs a bit. I need something to keep me more organized, with a little storage. Like a trapper keeper from way back when, but less Lisa Frank unicorns and more Indiana Jones.
The fountain pen search was easy. “I want fountain pen. I like this brand. Go to pen store. Walk out with pen.”
The operative words there, are Fountain-Pen. Easy. Google fountain pen.
What the do I google for this? Folio, portfolio, notebook cover, padfolio, trapper keeper? Yes, all of them. Because there’s a million different options and none of them are quite right this triggers my A.D.H.D. and now it becomes a hunt. The hunt becomes an obsession. The obsession becomes an ongoing google search that leads me into a s deeper and deeper rabbit hole.
Should this be leather, or is canvas ok? Zipper, snaps, or buckle? How much can it hold? Etc.
Even if I figure something out, like the most likely winner is from Lochby.
This happens…
Yeah, it’s totally empty. Which triggers a deeper search into what to fill this thing with. What size notebook, color, page count, page quality — because I’m going to use a fountain pen which would bleed through a regular marble notebook. Should I put in a couple of smaller notebooks in, or two larger ones? Could I fit in a reporter’s notebook on top of that, along with a couple of pens, 2 felt tipped red markers, and maybe a post it pad?
Yep, and around and around it goes.
The last one, with the notebook is REALLY killing me. I’m probably getting the B5, it’s a comfortable roomy size. But finding THAT perfect one is next to impossible. Again, I have something specific in mind. I want a page count of 60 sheets, and the pages need to be thick enough that I can use the damn fountain pen I picked up.
Did I mention, that I want the notebooks to be cheaper than $20 a pop?
Christ, if it’s not the course work that’ll kill me it’s my ADHD brain.